


Went For The Head

by tonysbuttshack



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Hurt Tony Stark, M/M, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Steve Rogers Feels, Tony Angst, Tony Feels, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:53:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28364223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tonysbuttshack/pseuds/tonysbuttshack
Summary: PAIN.(try to ignore mistakes- i made this at 5 in the morning)
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 8
Kudos: 39





	Went For The Head

**Author's Note:**

> PAIN.  
> (try to ignore mistakes- i made this at 5 in the morning)

He fell with a loud clunk. The sharp pain in his back was immense, the slash on his forehead was pulsing, he could _feel_ the blood making it's way to his eyebrow, threatening to spill into his eyes. It's dark, and he can't tell whether the heavy breathing was coming from him or whatever the _hell_ was on top of him.

But of course he knew what was on top of him.

 _Who_ was on top of him.

Steve.

_God fucking damn it Steve-_

He tried to move- he really did. Then he could see him, clear as day. That damn face. He knew that face. Steve made it whenever they fought, side by side, against the bad guys.

But _damn it_ \- he wasn't supposed on the other side of it,

He wasn't supposed to be the bad guy.

Steve punched him, once, then twice, then three times- then- _god,_ then there was the shield.

The same shield his father made for Steve.

Suddenly, that's not such a cool fact.

Steve slams the shield down onto his helmet twice. And Tony remembers counting. Counting each hit, and how many it would take before his death.

_Would Steve kill him?_

Steve rips the helmet off, it's in pieces now. 

Steve raises the shield, over his head-

_he's going to kill me_

_he's going to fucking kill me_

the shield coming down onto his face, full force, and Steve is doing this- _his_ Steve-

Tony wakes up. 

The sheets crumpling with his sudden movement. His chest feels so tight, and he's shaking, and he can't fucking breathe-

That's the second time this week. Though, he has only tried to sleep twice.

He crawls over his bed, and _fuck_ it's so damn empty-

His trembling hand reaches for the water on the bedside table, and he brings it to his lips.

He's chugging it down, and chokes when he realizes. He's coughing and he can barely breathe and when did it get so fucking hot in here?

But he can't speak. He's trying, but it's coming out in small cries. _Fuck_ , he's crying.

And he can't help but remember feeling like this. Scared, and so, _so_ alone.

He was only a boy when his dad first hit him. Punched him right in the jaw. He still has the scar, but it's mostly hidden by his goatee.

He remembers running to the nearest closet and locking himself in, and he had his action figure the-

the _Captain America_ action figure. 

It was the one with the button, and when pushed it played an audio recording,

"Be brave! And stand up for what you think is right!"

And Tony knew it wasn't actually Steve who had said that, he could confirm it now. Just some guy they payed to say a few lines so they could use it for the toy. 

It made him feel safe, the stripes and stars. His _hero_. 

God, the universe really has it's ways.

He remembers seeing Steve for the first time. Struggling to keep his inner fan boy at bay. 

He also remembers falling so goddamn hard for that man.

And who would've thought they'd actually get together? Tony didn't- that's for sure. When Steve had asked him out on a date, Tony could've sworn he went into cardiac arrest. He learned that Steve was just a huge puppy, who'd shower him with kisses and hugs.

Tony's favorite moments were when Steve had just gotten home from his morning run, and he'd cuddle up nice and warm, his hair still damp from the shower, and they'd fall back asleep. Or at least Tony did, Steve usually drew things in his sketch book. A lot of the drawings were of Tony. 

He misses that.

He misses Steve.

Tony snaps back to reality, he's still shaking- but not as much.

He sees his phone and takes it, his fingers clumsy on the screen. He tries to dial up Rhodey, but his brain is moving slowly, and he can't remember what his number is. So he goes into his contacts and freezes.

He sees Steve's name in his frequently contacted. 

He means to scroll. Really, he does.

But he calls him.

He calls Steve.

It only gets to ring twice, and Tony remembers how light of a sleeper Steve is.

"Tony?"

Fuck.

"Tony? God I- are you there?"

He can't do this.

"Tony- wait please, don't hang up."

He can't do anything, he's frozen in place, his arm and hand shaky where he held the phone to his ear.

"Please- can- I just- god I didn't think you'd call-"

" _Steve_." Tony wants to punch himself for sounding so weak.

"Yea. I'm here- I'm- I'm here.."

" _Steve-_ " It comes out in a sob, he wants to throw the damn phone across the room.

"Tones-"

He can't.

He hangs up.

The phone drops from his hand. 

Tony chokes up and grabs his pillow.

It still fucking smells like him.

Like Steve.

And he's crying again. Even harder this time. Every thought going through his head is horrible. 

He's in so much pain, and he's so damn alone.

He knows Steve would have comforted him. Would've cuddled up real close and brought him snacks once Tony had fallen asleep. 

He'd never thought Steve could be the cause of such pain.

His chest is tight again- so tight it hurts. Just like when Steve slammed his shield into the reactor, and christ- he still had the bandages over that.

And he wonders for a second if it would've been easier- if it would've spared him all this pain- 

if Steve had went for the head.


End file.
